Today on the agenda is a very important question: “Why do men cheat on their wives but don’t leave?” This causes serious scandals and breakdowns in relationships. It is very difficult to survive, understand and forgive; starting a relationship from scratch without looking back at what happened is even more difficult. Today we will talk about the reasons for adultery. This will help you recognize the warning signs of trouble and take action in time. In fact, betrayal is not the end of a relationship; you just need to find the strength for a frank conversation and the desire to go through this difficult period together.
Family relationships
When young people get married, it seems to them that happiness will last forever. But a year passes, then another, minor quarrels accumulate, and the first disappointments appear. The partner no longer looks so ideal. What is important for a man is the feeling of a quiet, safe harbor, a reliable berth. This is an explanation of why men cheat on their wives, but it is not stability, special status, reliability, warmth and comfort of home. And a mistress is an adventure that ends well. Going to her means ruining your life and starting to build again, from scratch. At the same time, the man understands that, having become a wife, his mistress will lose the special charm that is so attractive today.
Cheating is a complex phenomenon that can have many causes. Often a man does not stop loving his wife, he still wants a relationship with her. He diligently hides his relationship on the side, is ashamed of it, but cannot resist the temptation. Let's look at the main reasons why men cheat on their wives but don't leave.
Experts' opinion
Experts cite physiology as one of the very first reasons. Men are polygamous by nature, they crave sexual variety and a large number of partners. Society taboos such desires, promoting marital fidelity, but instincts. This explains why men cheat on their wives, but do not leave. They are biologically programmed to need to leave as many offspring as possible, and for this they need to have many partners. But this is not the only reason. According to Western sociologists, 99% of betrayals are committed simply because of banal boredom and the monotony of life. There are a number of other reasons that push a man to do this, we will talk about them later.
Major changes
A painfully familiar situation. Before marriage, a woman came to dates with perfect hair and manicure, monitored her diet and weight, and now walks around the house in a stretched T-shirt. This is especially true for those couples where the woman does not work. Housewives are more often prone to depression due to monotony and household routine, and for a man there is nothing worse than coming home to a woman sitting gloomy like a cloud in a shabby robe. Of course, family relationships play a big role. Human psychology is such that the more attention one person pays to another, the more warmth and affection he receives in return. Therefore, if a man, instead of looking for entertainment on the side, pays compliments more often, invites his wife on dates and gives gifts, the greater the chance of seeing the shine of loving eyes again, a romantic dinner and a new dress on his beloved.
Nobody understands me
Indeed, very often men who cheat on their wives say that they do not understand them. But in fact it sounds strange, as if a woman would be able to completely unravel his mysterious nature from the first meeting. The point is that you need to patiently build relationships in the family. Human psychology is such that only primary love is given to us in advance, due to a hormonal surge. Then you will have to make efforts for true love to come. To do this, you need to learn to communicate, listen and hear, solve problems within the family, talk through everything that does not suit you. Then you won’t have to look for consolation on the side.
Excitement, risk, feeling of novelty
The psychology of a cheating man is such that he feels like a hunter at this moment. Ancient instincts awaken, a pleasant feeling of danger and violation of prohibitions. All this tickles the nerves, excites the imagination, and gives amazing sensations. This is akin to drug intoxication: when the fuse wears off, you want to get it back. However, the sensations become dull and you need to look for something new, brighter, and so on ad infinitum. A happy family is one in which spouses are able to find new sensations within their own relationships.
You need to work on relationships
Psychologists believe that every woman can support the spark of passion in the family. Besides, this is her direct task. This is necessary not only for men; monotony and everyday life are destructive for both partners. New underwear and clothes should appear in a woman’s wardrobe regularly; a bad man is one who, without providing for his family, demands that his wife be well-groomed. And you can come up with a lot of ways to revive your former passion. Invite your spouse to a rented apartment, leaving the children in the care of their grandmother. Believe me, a happy family is worth the effort. A romantic dinner and erotic massage, signs of attention - these are all tools that can be used to “prevent” infidelity. But psychologists say that there is the most important and reliable remedy: before entering the house after work, stop for a minute. You need to take a deep breath and exhale at least 5 times, while mentally saying goodbye to work, current problems and worries. Imagine the image of your beloved man, and the way you saw him in your happiest moments. Do you want there to be more such moments? Try to feel again the feelings that you experienced then, smile and enter the house.
Cheating without explanation
The psychology of a cheating man is quite complex. Sometimes he himself cannot explain why he is so drawn to the left. There seem to be no obvious prerequisites, everything is fine at home, but still he stubbornly spends time and money looking for a new relationship. Perhaps he got married too early, and it seems to him that he has not yet had time to walk up. Or the call of ancient instincts forces him again and again to take the path of a hunter and gatherer. In any case, women can recognize such a “macho” even at the beginning of a relationship. Just watch how he behaves on the street and indoors, where there are many beautiful women. If even now, when there is ardent passion between you, he still tries to hit on other young ladies, it will only get worse.
Just sex
As already mentioned, men are polygamous by nature. It is not so important what kind of figure a woman has - if she appears naked in front of a man every day, then she ceases to worry him. This object has been conquered, it's time to move on. Not all researchers agree with this statement, but nevertheless many adhere to this point of view. If a man is monogamous, it is only because he realizes that friendship and love are more important things than a casual relationship on the side.
What is the purpose of cheating
Why do men cheat? For them, sex and love are two big differences. A man can love his wife and have sexual relations with other females. More often these are not permanent, but one-time meetings. This separation of love and sex allows a man to easily change and not experience it. Although the latter is questionable. Guilt appears later and is not caused by the fact of sex itself, but by the possible consequences. What will happen if the wife finds out? Will a random passion pursue him? There is also a risk of contracting one of the sexually transmitted diseases. There is a chance that, having carefully weighed everything that he received from his adventure, the man will forever become a monogamous family man. So that it’s not too late, even before going on a date, imagine the worst-case scenario. For example, your casual friend will tell his wife what happened. The fact of betrayal, presented in this way, is very difficult to survive. Is it worth it?
Rights and obligations of the parties
It is very interesting to know what percentage of men cheat. Various sources report figures from 70 to 90% of the entire male population of the Earth. Impressive, isn't it? It has to do with men having sex. It is much higher than that of women. In addition, the load on the fair floor is very high. A woman works at work, performs a large number of household duties, and takes care of children. As a result, he gets very tired in the evening. You don’t have the strength for intimacy, but your husband, bored at the computer, looks to the left? It is obvious that the problem has become so urgent that it is time to solve it. Sit down at the negotiating table. A man complains about lack of sex? Okay, write down on paper all your responsibilities related to home, family, children, and invite him to take exactly half. Ask if he agrees with the prospect of fully providing for the family so that you are at home and have time to complete your homework before he arrives? Divide all the hardships of the family burden in half, and it will be easier for both.
How to understand that a man is cheating
It's actually not difficult at all. Just watch your significant other every day. If a man begins to regularly stay late at work, vaguely explaining the reasons, he often has things to do on weekends, and even on holidays urgent assignments appear, then it’s worth taking a closer look. Does he carry his phone everywhere, does he go into another room if he gets a call, does he get nervous if you answer the phone? All these are indirect signs that he has something to hide. Analyze your budget, are there any more unplanned expenses in it?
What to do if a man cheats
There is no point in starting scandals and quarrels, even if you are 100% sure that you are right in your suspicions. Another mistake would be to try to find his mistress and see who he exchanged you for, or to take revenge. Often he also decides to change in revenge - it is also better to postpone this step. For now, you only need one thing - to speak out and work through your emotions. A friend or professional psychologist is suitable for this. Only after experiencing the first shock can you think about what decision to make. Divorce is not always the best solution; in some cases, you can survive the betrayal and continue the relationship. The help of a family psychologist will not be superfluous.
Let's sum it up
We looked at the main reasons for betrayal. Now you know how many men cheat on their wives. Statistics are merciless; they list almost the entire male population as ladies' men. In fact, this is not so; most of them, just like women, value their relationships and are not ready to risk them for the sake of a momentary infatuation. In any case, forewarned is forearmed. If you have an idea about the causes and signs of adultery, then you will do everything possible to avoid it.
Relationships don't always go smoothly even if you are already married.
Small quarrels, grievances, perhaps even the worst thing - betrayal.
Why does this happen? Why do men cheat on their wives? but they don't leave?
How to let go of the person you love? will help you!
Are all men capable of cheating?
Of course not. If a man appreciates his chosen one, respects his choice, then he will not change.
He may touch on this topic, even think about it.
But in practice this will not be done. But this is an extremely rare type of man.
Do all men cheat? Find out from the video:
Psychology and reasons
Why and why do men or guys cheat on their wives?
How long does a man's love last? find out right now.
Three reasons why men cheat in this video:
Male gaze and the most shocking answers
Men and women they look at betrayal differently.
Representatives of the stronger sex can decide to cheat for a variety of reasons and often don’t see what’s wrong with it.
Why do guys cheat? Here's what they say about cheating:
How to win your husband's love? you will find on our website.
Why do husbands cheat on their beautiful wives? Male opinion:
Consequences of infidelity
When they cheat, they hardly think about what consequences await them and How will this affair affect their wives?. And at this moment they don’t think at all about their possible condition.
It often happens that after cheating a man experiences a feeling of guilt. He becomes nervous, afraid that all this will come to the surface.
When adultery becomes known, the culprit begins to feel regret. Often he repents and asks for forgiveness. At this moment, the wife experiences severe pain and depression, and feels betrayed.
There are two ways out of this situation:
- The couple talk for a long time, sort things out, but decide to save the marriage. However, one must understand that on both sides in such a situation a lot of patience and desire to return to their former relationship will be required. However, the trust that was there before can be forgotten.
- The spouses understand, What it doesn't work out and they decide to divorce. At the same time, the man believes that he will be able to take his relationship with his mistress to the official level. But often in such a situation they are faced with the fact that she does not need it or the relationship simply does not work out. It is usually also difficult for a wife to start a new relationship, since due to past betrayal it is difficult for her to trust men.
Psychologist's opinion
Why do married men cheat but not leave their wives?
Why does a man have a mistress but not leave his family? Psychologist's answer.
Quite often you can hear that there are no completely faithful men, and all of them sooner or later commit treason. Of course, in reality this is not so - there are husbands who remain faithful lovers until the end of their lives. What does this depend on? Why is it quite natural for some to remain faithful to their wife, while others are still ready to “go to the left”?
Male infidelity - do all men cheat?
Why men cheat - psychology
Often, men decide to cheat if they are not satisfied with something in their relationship with their chosen one. We can talk about problems of a different nature - a discrepancy in sexual temperament with the chosen one, psychological barriers to communication with her, frequent conflicts, uncertainty in one’s choice, a midlife crisis and much more.
Signs of betrayal in behavior
1. He became too irritable
Often, men who decide to have an affair on the side do so because their spouse has begun to seriously irritate him, and he is unable to hide this irritation, even after starting a relationship with another woman. In addition, subconsciously he understands that he is doing wrong, and this makes him angry. He is also constantly in tension, afraid of being caught in treason, which also leaves a certain imprint on his behavior.
2. He's overly affectionate
Of course, this may also be a sign that your husband has simply developed a new round of tender feelings for you, but often such behavior still characterizes cheaters. Fearing that his wife will accuse him of infidelity, the man tries in every possible way to lull her vigilance, demonstrating care towards her and showing signs of attention. If your husband really cheats on you, then probably this relationship does not mean much to him, and he is really afraid of destroying the family.
3. Started paying a lot of attention to appearance
If before your husband did not pay much attention to his appearance, but suddenly began experimenting with the style of clothing, hairstyle, using a new perfume, and so on, it is possible that he is doing all this to keep the interest of a certain person. Of course, such conclusions are not appropriate for men, for whom such metamorphoses are generally common.
Physiological signs of infidelity
If your intimate life has changed dramatically in your marriage, this may be one of the signs that your husband has committed adultery with another woman. What kind of changes might these be? Most often, the husband simply begins to avoid sex with his wife. The explanation for this is quite obvious - he has already satisfied his physical needs with his mistress and he simply no longer particularly needs intimacy with his wife. If another woman has seriously attracted him, then he can completely avoid intimacy with his wife, since everything is mixed up in his mind, and he believes that in this way he will cheat on his beloved, who now in his understanding is precisely his mistress.
There may be another extreme. A man becomes overly active in bed. The fact is that some male representatives are “turned on” by their own betrayal, and after this they have a strong desire for their spouse. Such men like the realization that now there is a lot of sex in their lives, and it is varied.
A man's view of betrayal
For the most part, men take their infidelity much more simply than women. Perhaps this happens precisely because, unlike women, they rarely commit adultery once they begin to experience serious feelings for a potential mistress. Often, we are talking about a passing hobby or a casual relationship. As a rule, when deciding to “go left,” a man rarely makes any serious plans for a new passion, which justifies himself.
Why do husbands cheat on their wives?
Most common reasons
- Boredom in marriage. When spouses do not have common interests and hobbies, and they generally see each other quite rarely, such a marriage begins to seem very boring to at least one of the partners. As a result, there is a desire to try to “shake things up” with another person.
- Alcohol. Often, betrayal can be completely unplanned - a man simply “had too much” and ended up in bed with another woman, who may just be a casual acquaintance. However, this situation requires separate consideration - perhaps there are still hidden problems in the marriage.
- Lack of sex in marriage. If a man is loving, and his wife is unable to satisfy his “appetites” (due to lack of time, difference in temperaments, etc.), then, most likely, he will subsequently try to fill this “gap” on the side.
Cheating during pregnancy
Unfortunately, in many families the happy period of waiting for a baby is accompanied by adultery. Sometimes the reason for this may be obvious - the wife denies her husband sex, fearing for her pregnancy, and then the husband, unable to remain without intimacy for several months, commits adultery.
However, a man can decide to take such a step even if his wife does not refuse him sex. The fact is that some men themselves consider sex with a woman who is carrying a child unnatural, but at the same time they cannot completely exclude him from their lives. They may also be put off by the changed appearance of pregnant wives or irritated by frequent mood swings. As a result, pregnancy turns out to be a difficult test for both partners, and not all couples go through it with dignity and respect for each other.
Why a married man cheats, but does not leave the family
If a man cheats on his wife, but at the same time tries to hide his adventures, then this can be explained by certain factors:
1. He's not serious about outside relationships.
Cheating for him is just entertainment, into which he does not invest any far-sighted plans. Perhaps he decided to do this because of certain physiological needs that his wife was unable to satisfy, or he simply wanted some “spiciness” in life. Subconsciously, he understands that his life is settled, and it is stupid to change anything.
2. He doesn't want complications.
He doesn’t want to bother himself with various legal formalities or explanations to mutual friends and his life partner. It is likely that on the whole he is satisfied with his wife, and he understands that he does not gain much from divorcing her. Most likely, he is aware that all women are alike, and sooner or later he will have similar problems in his relationship with his new chosen one.
3. He loves his wife
Yes, sometimes, love for your wife does not exclude cheating on her. We may be talking about pathological cheaters or some kind of casual relationship on the side. The man understands that his wife is not at all to blame for the fact that he decided to do this - it is entirely his fault. At the same time, he is completely satisfied with his wife, and he cannot imagine another woman in her role.
Aries man
A representative of this sign will remain faithful to you as long as he is satisfied with everything in the relationship. If he understands that the chosen one has begun to disappoint him or demands too much from him, then he begins to turn his attention to other women. It is worth noting that at the same time, he rarely “attaches his whole soul” to his mistress - he can have easy relationships with several people at once. He hides his novels as long as he is controlled primarily by physiological needs. If an Aries sincerely falls in love, then, most likely, he will leave his wife, since he is not able to live for a long time with two families.
Taurus man
In general, representatives of this sign are not prone to cheating, since they simply do not particularly like changes in life and they are too lazy to search for another woman if they already have a life partner. And yet, this does not mean at all that he is not capable of betrayal - he will be ready to take this step if the potential mistress herself begins to actively pursue him. Moreover, if he enjoys an intimate relationship with his new girlfriend, he may well decide to break off relations with his long-time partner. However, most likely, he will return soon after this, and this will happen, as we have already mentioned, because of his reluctance to make drastic changes in his life.
Gemini man
Gemini is considered the most windy sign. Often such men believe that they are a great gift for any woman. Often they are absolutely promiscuous, and, perhaps, in intimate relationships, quantity is more important to them than quality - they are attracted by the process of seduction, after which he switches to a new “victim”. Such a man rarely confines himself to one marriage, since he does not feel the need for a reliable rear - he is more attracted by diversity. It is noteworthy that with all this, such a man himself is very jealous.
Cancer man
A man born under the sign of Cancer is expected to remain faithful to his wife throughout the marriage. In general, in the ranking of the most faithful signs of the zodiac, Cancer takes the lead, but this does not mean at all that they do not cheat on their chosen ones. True, it is worth noting that if they decide to have an affair on the side, they choose one woman, and with her they can cheat on their wife for years, carefully concealing this fact.
It is noteworthy that Cancer's mistress is often the absolute opposite of his wife. That is, if his wife is a calm and homely lady, then he may well become interested in a noisy and bright person, and vice versa. If you want to avoid cheating on the part of your Cancer husband, then try to combine these two sides of your personality.
Leo man
From the outside, it may seem to some that the Leo man is very loving and is simply not able to remain faithful to his chosen one. However, these men very rarely “spray” on several women at once. If betrayal occurs on their part, it is often accidental - for example, while intoxicated. A pre-planned affair, as a rule, is not at all in the spirit of Leo - he does not want to create additional difficulties in his life. It’s easier for him to break up with a woman who has ceased to suit him than to cheat on her for months or years. If the chosen one completely suits him, he will not be interested in other ladies.
Virgo man
Virgos are one of the most loyal signs of the zodiac. These men are distinguished by their cleanliness, and they are also very squeamish, which is why they rarely decide to have casual sex. In addition, as a rule, they take their own choices very seriously, and if they are already married, they prefer not to cheat on their wife. True, if one day a Virgo man suspects that his wife does not value him, he will begin to look closely at other people in order to find the ideal partner whom he no longer sees in his wife. Virgos rarely decide to divorce, and if this happens, they do not immediately begin to build another family - they need a break and rethinking what happened.
Libra man
A man born under the sign of Libra rarely remains faithful to his chosen one. They are very adventurous, and connections on their side “keep them on their toes.” However, Libras try not to let their wife know about their fleeting affairs, and more often than not they actually manage to keep their affairs with other women a secret.
However, if this man truly falls in love, then, most likely, he will not “play on two fronts”, but will leave his previous partner for a new one. In the depths of his soul, he hopes to find the ideal chosen one for himself, and often this becomes the main goal of his life.
Scorpio man
There has long been an opinion that Scorpios attach excessive importance to sex, and accordingly are always ready for “deeds.” However, it is worth noting that they prioritize quality over quantity. If he manages to meet a woman who will fully suit him, then other representatives of the fair sex will not seduce him. Scorpios love variety in sex, and boredom in bed can push him to cheat. If Scorpio’s chosen one shares his desire for experimentation, then he may well remain faithful to her throughout his life.
Ophiuchus man
Representatives of this sign are distinguished by their love of love, and rarely remain faithful to their wives for many years. They often experience a craving for adventure, and this ultimately turns into stress for them - most often, they subsequently regret their infidelities. If the chosen one of Ophiuchus is distinguished by her versatility of character and a tendency to change in appearance, then it is possible that betrayal will not happen in such a union.
Sagittarius man
Sagittarians are often wonderful and loyal family men. For him, relationships on the side are just fleeting entertainment. Spontaneous sex with another woman may happen in his life, but he rarely perceives this intimacy as something truly serious. He is of little interest in romances on the side, and if they happen, he considers it an ordinary adventure that can be compared to a short trip. As a rule, one day he gets tired of it, and he completely focuses on family life.
Capricorn man
Capricorn approaches the choice of a wife with particular care, and that is why he subsequently does not consider it rational to cheat. Although if the marriage has not yet been registered, Capricorn subconsciously does not consider himself to have made up his mind, and may well allow himself to cheat. He justifies himself precisely by the fact that so far he does not officially belong to anyone. However, the wedding becomes a truly significant event for him, and after that it becomes very difficult for him to decide to have a relationship with another woman.
Aquarius man
It is difficult to call a representative of this sign absolutely faithful - more often his betrayals are not physical, but moral in nature. He constantly compares potential life partners, and, at times, does not hesitate to voice his thoughts. Often the chosen one of Aquarius has to constantly compete with an invisible ideal. If this man decides to cheat and fall in love with a new passion, then he is unlikely to live on two families - most likely he will leave without explaining anything.
Pisces man
Men born under the sign of Pisces have a very specific attitude towards adultery. They believe that they themselves can easily afford to “go to the left,” but they expect unconditional fidelity from their life partner. At the same time, it cannot be said that Pisces cheat, feeling great remorse - they willingly take such a step, always having some kind of justification in stock. However, Pisces wives rarely suffer, because representatives of this sign are concerned about the well-being of the family, and try in every possible way to hide their infidelity.
Each of us, one way or another, has encountered betrayal. Even if not in your own relationships, then through the example of close relatives or friends. Adultery is an invariable attribute of romance novels, feature films, interviews about the lives of stars and television shows. We come into contact with this phenomenon so often that we consider it part of life. And, when someone once again says that “all men cheat,” we do not try to dispute this statement, but nod our heads in understanding, somewhere in our heads convincing ourselves that “my man is not like that.”
Is a man really polygamous and cannot exist in a relationship?
What generally pushes representatives of the stronger sex into the arms of another woman?
And is there insurance against treason?
Surveys show that more than a third of men cheat. Let's try to understand their motives.
"The body requires"
Lack of sex or absence of it in a relationship. I will write this reason first, although this is one of those aspects that a man can come to terms with for a while. But when other factors are combined or when there is an opportunity, this one will “work” very quickly.
Sex is a natural basic need of the body. Let's compare - if your man wants to eat, he comes home and expects dinner, but instead receives an empty table and refrigerator. The situation repeats itself throughout the month, and first you try to find reasons for the lack of food, and then you simply report “there is no dinner!”
How long a man will stay on a diet is an individual question. It is only important to understand that as soon as someone beckons him with a full table of food, he will go. And not because he is “bad” or “wants to destroy the relationship,” but because the body demands it.
"This is fine"
These are “womanizers” who are not capable of deep relationships, and those whose fathers were not faithful, and such a model of behavior is considered “normal” among them.
These are also those men in whose heads there lives a pattern that the presence of a mistress is an indicator of success and status: a director has a secretary-mistress, a millionaire has a young mistress, a successful man, in principle, has many women.
These stereotypes are brought up by society and are sometimes not even realized. These men do not feel guilt or are not tormented by remorse; they consider this model of behavior absolutely natural.
"I'll prove"
Sometimes it is the woman herself who provokes men to cheat. claiming that he has a “small penis” / “he is not able to satisfy her” / “he can’t do anything in bed, but her ex was...”.
Women often say this in the heat of a quarrel and forget after a while, but for many men this is a blow below the belt. Then he looks for other women in order to prove to himself that he is a “hero-lover” and can give a woman pleasure.
The same thing happens when a woman humiliates her partner as a person: “You are not capable of anything! Who needs you anyway?!” You have to find someone who “needs and cares” in order to dispel this myth.
"We live under the same roof"
Yes, and this happens: feelings have faded, there has been no sex for a long time, Children and habit hold together. For a relationship between a man and a woman, this is certain death: living with a feeling of uselessness, hopelessness and, at the same time, hopelessness. A man is looking for someone who will give him emotions and passion to compensate for what he does not receive at home.
When a crisis in a relationship lasts for several days, life seems gray, and routine makes you depressed, cheating becomes a way to break out of this vicious circle and bring something new into life!
"She's not like that"
Many men are afraid to share their erotic fantasies with their woman.. After all, their woman is “not like that!” She will say that it is dirty and immoral, and will classify them as perverts. Therefore, he is looking for someone who will not be offended or judge, but will share his fantasies with him. Such situations are far from uncommon; they occur in couples who “love and respect each other very much.”
I have encountered similar cases in my practice: a man took a mistress in order to have oral sex with her, because he was deeply convinced that such things “will humiliate his wife as a person, and decent women do not do this.”
"Middle age crisis"
Yes it one of the stages in a man’s life when he is most prone to cheating. After all, he has reached a certain stage in life: his youth is behind him, and there are many questions in his head: “What’s ahead? What have I achieved in this life? Is the best already in the past?
At this moment, the man is trying to feel “young” again, trying to prove to himself that there is still gunpowder in the flask, that he is interesting to women and is capable of winning many.
"Diversity"
This is the main reason for male infidelity. They are looking for variety!
A new body, new emotions, risk - all this stimulates a powerful release of hormones. After all, in a long relationship, passion, as a rule, subsides, we get used to each other, and the closeness of bodies evokes, rather, not lust, but love and tenderness. We know everything about each other, sex turns from a hurricane of passion into a ritual where words, actions, and positions are known in advance.
Cheating makes you feel “alive.” Men are looking not only for a new partner, they are looking for variety in caresses, sensations, and emotions.
It is clear that these are not all the reasons why men cheat, but they are definitely the main ones. Is there insurance against cheating? I think no!
But there are ways to minimize the risks.
— Remove the “everyone changes” attitude – our worst expectations usually come true!
Where there are thoughts, there is energy! Are you sure this belief is worth feeding? The world is a mirror: having a clear belief in something in our heads, we seem to ask our subconscious to confirm it. So you will meet only womanizers along the way.
— Stop suspecting him!
The brain is a tricky thing; very often it helps us see only what we want to see. If you start to think that your partner is cheating, you will very soon find convincing evidence of this.
A couple who had experienced betrayal came for a consultation. When the question arose why this happened, the man answered simply and directly: “I would never cheat on her. And it was not in my thoughts! But she was so annoying with her suspicions and constant attempts to convict her of treason that I decided that rather than endure all this for nothing, I’d rather “suffer for the cause.”
— Respect your man and listen to him– do not allow yourself to speak disparagingly about your partner, either alone or, especially, in the presence of strangers.
Do not evaluate his “bed” exploits and “geometric” parameters - let this be a taboo for you. Even if you don’t like or aren’t happy with something!
Find a way to correct the situation without criticism and mutual reproaches; if the situation cannot be changed, then try to find the positive aspects rather than emphasizing the shortcomings. Listen to your partner: Talking about your desires is great, but sometimes just listening to your loved one will give you much more useful information.
— Love yourself - many women in relationships forget about themselves!
Stop being a free addition to your home and children, remember that you are young and beautiful. Take care of your health and beauty, find time to care for yourself - if you realize your value, a man will feel it.
— Be different - give your man surprises and break out of your usual image.
This also applies to everyday life! If you are used to wearing jeans and a T-shirt, put on a dress and heels; walk around at home with a bun and no makeup - do make-up and hairstyle; You’re used to being a businesswoman – put on shorts and a funny T-shirt and play like a teenage girl. A woman is capable of changing not only externally, but also internally. Try on different looks!
— Add extreme - most cheating attracts men with its spontaneity.
But this will cease to be interesting if he can get an adrenaline rush and new emotions with the woman he loves. When was the last time you had sex outside the bedroom? What about outside the house? Try it! Most women get no less pleasure from quick sex than men.
— Add variety to your sex life– sometimes we don’t even think about the abundance of caresses and manifestations of eroticism that exist in the world.
Since ancient times, chosen women have been taught the “art of love,” but our sex education culture, of course, does not provide this. Try to learn new skills by taking a course or training. Variety is what every man is looking for, but for this it is not necessary to change partners. Now each of us has a chance to become a “chosen” and unique lover.
Very soon I will launch an online course “Secrets of the Marriage Chambers”, these are three trainings aimed at awaken in a woman the state of a lover. After all, it is in this state of fire and passion that we, like a magnet, attract men, and make our beloved languish with desire. The ability to give the highest pleasure to a partner increases the value of a woman, encourages a man to protect, care, give gifts and treasure.
You will master the knowledge, techniques and skills that will allow you to build deep and sensual relationships, add variety to your sex life, and will also be invaluable when you cannot have vaginal sex, for example, during pregnancy and the postpartum period.
The trainings will be held on September 16, 17, 19 from 20.00 to 21.30 in a webinar format; a recording will be available for those who cannot attend.
Details and registration by phone at.
Editorial opinion may not reflect the views of the author.
In case of health problems, do not self-medicate, consult your doctor.
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Seneca
Why do men cheat? I know that this question interests many women. He is mainly interested in those women who need a serious and long-term relationship with their beloved man, those who adhere to family values and consider betrayal an unforgivable act. And this is understandable, because for a normal relationship, the devotion and trust of partners to each other are of great importance. And betrayal is always pain, suffering and humiliation, and sometimes it is very difficult to survive. Therefore, women are not just concerned about the issue of male infidelity - they want to know how it can be solved. In this article I will explain why men cheat on their wives and what a woman can do to prevent cheating. Understanding the reasons for male infidelity and the ability to competently influence them will help many of you, dear women, build a reliable relationship with your beloved man or improve existing ones.
First of all, I want to draw your attention, dear readers, to the fact that not all men cheat on their women, despite their polygamous nature. And not only because they cannot do this, as some representatives of the fairer sex believe, who see all men as potential traitors, but also because of their convictions. Unfortunately, there are not very many such men, but they exist, and you should know about it. After all, male infidelity can have a lot of reasons with the help of which it is possible, in some cases, to justify, and in others to explain this act. But if a man himself does not consider cheating an acceptable act for himself, he will not cheat on the woman he loves and respects. But what kind of man is next to a woman depends on her.
True, in life there are much more often men who can cheat on their woman if they have a reason or reason for cheating. Below I will talk about the main reasons why men cheat, and you, dear women, be sure to think about how exactly your behavior can contribute to male infidelity. First of all, you really need to exclude your own mistakes, because of which a man could cheat on you, and only then look for opportunities to influence him, if at all possible. Keep in mind that there are some men whom you will never change - they have cheated, are cheating and will cheat on all the women with whom they begin to live. And if your man is just like that, then you can only come to terms with his infidelities, or leave him. And there are men who cheat on their woman largely through her own fault. In this case, a woman should pay attention to herself and her actions, her behavior with a man, her attitude towards him. And then, correct all those shortcomings that push her man to cheat. If, of course, the man is dear to her, and she wants him to be faithful to her. So, carefully study the reasons for male infidelity described below and then compare them with what was or is in your life.
Reasons for male infidelity
1. Tendency to cheat. A man's tendency to cheat depends on his upbringing. As I said above, there are men who cannot help but cheat, since cheating is part of their life for them. They change not only because they can change, but also because they want to do so. Communicating with such men, I realized that they cannot even imagine life without relationships with different women. Therefore, trying to instill in them other values is, if not absolutely pointless, then at least very difficult. You can, of course, talk about male nature, about male polygamy, which pushes him to betrayal, and we will talk about this below, but still upbringing in this case plays a very important role. By nature, we are inclined to different actions, but this does not mean that we need to do them all and then justify these actions with our natural essence. Therefore, it is appropriate to say that there are men who love to constantly have love affairs with women, and such men appeared not thanks to nature, but thanks to upbringing. For them, love victories are a way of life. Women call such men womanizers, and it is not difficult to recognize them - such men pay too much attention to other women, they cannot help but do it. If a woman gets along with such a man, then she should not count on his loyalty to her. If she needs it. It is important to understand here that if a person has formed exactly such an attitude towards relationships with the opposite sex and towards life in general, then it is practically impossible to change this person, at least without his own desire, or without urgent need. After all, people usually live as it suits them,
and not in the way it supposedly should, especially for someone else. Therefore, many womanizers have no desire to give up pleasure and live the life they want. Therefore, either do not get along with such men if they do not suit you, or do not demand from them what they cannot give you. But they can’t because they don’t want to. Remember that a scorpion stings because it is a scorpion, that is its nature. And male nature forces him to show attention to other women, like a male to females. And upbringing corresponding to this nature can cement in him an unshakable tendency to betray. This is when a man is taught from childhood that having many women is an achievement and a feat, that real men conquer different women, and are not content with just one. Therefore, the more women a man had and has, the better, the higher his value. Moreover, this is not only a man’s point of view, but women themselves can think so. Therefore, for some of them, male polygamy is the norm, since it is an integral biological quality of the stronger sex. A man with such convictions will not want to limit himself in his desires.
2. Pursuit of pleasure . You know, I pay special attention to this point, because I believe that pacifying one’s desires and appetites for the sake of both one’s own and others’ good is characteristic of exclusively prudent people. All people in this life strive for pleasure, avoiding pain; this is a natural desire for us. But you can strive for pleasure in different ways - you can do this by respecting the interests and needs of other people, especially close, dear, loved ones, or you can be a terrible egoist and think only about yourself. Now, when a man does not value the interests, feelings, needs and desires of his woman, his wife, thinking only about himself, about his interests, desires and needs, he is a real egoist, the desire for pleasure of which pushes him not only to cheat, but also to many other actions unacceptable for a woman. For example, to disorderly spending of money, to excessive drinking, to gambling, and so on. Many women who live with such men and with whom I had the opportunity to work said that their husband had become selfish. That is, you see, from their point of view, he was not one when they met, but became an egoist after some time. This really happens, for a number of reasons, I will not deny it. Too good a life relaxes a man, and he begins to allow himself a lot. But very often an overly selfish man can be recognized at the initial stage of getting to know him. You just need to pay attention to all sorts of little things in his behavior. And then it will be possible to see whether he is an egoist or not. Or rather, what kind of egoist he is - terrible or moderate. If you see that he is all for himself, everything for himself, everything for himself, that he often forgets about your interests and you have to constantly ask him for something, but he himself cannot guess about your needs - draw conclusions. Even by such seemingly distant things from relationships as frequent car changes, when a man constantly strives to buy himself a new, modern car, you can understand what his nature is. And it’s not about money, it’s about the desire for something new, better, which can be too reckless, indicating a person’s inability to appreciate what he already has. In itself, the desire for something new and better is a correct desire, but the form of this desire can be different. If, say, having a good, working car, a man exchanges it for a new one without any apparent need, seeking pleasure like a child, then why can’t he do the same with his woman, cheating on her for the same pleasure? You see, dear women, the maturity of the mind is determined, among other things, by a person’s ability to control his desires. Selfishness, in its unsightly form, is inherent in children, that is, in the immature mind. Children are also drawn to pleasure, without realizing where such a desire can lead them, and if they are not limited, they can, first of all, harm themselves. Only an adult, a man, must be able and want to limit himself, for the sake of a normal, stable life, for the sake of happiness with his woman. If he doesn’t do this, you shouldn’t be surprised at his betrayal and betrayal. There is little demand from children.
3. Desire to diversify your sex life. This desire is inherent in many people of both sexes. The only question is how strongly it manifests itself and in what form. Over time, everything becomes boring, this is understandable, but to maintain interest in life, in sex, in the opposite sex, in your woman or in your man, some kind of variety is necessary. A man especially needs this, because his masculine nature cannot accept monotony in sexual relationships. The Coolidge effect just describes the theory of polygamy in males; read about it to understand what needs are inherent in male nature. Therefore, a woman either needs to add some variety to her sexual life, or there is a high probability that a man will look for this variety on the side. In principle, if you approach this issue with imagination and enthusiasm, then you can diversify sexual relationships very well, and in such a way that it will be interesting and will bring great pleasure not only to the man, but also to the woman. There are many ways to diversify your sex life. So you can study them and take advantage of them.
4. Dissatisfaction. In part, this point is a continuation of the previous one, only in this case, a man’s sexual dissatisfaction can be associated not only with a lack of variety in sex, but also with its insufficient quantity and low quality. Also, a man’s sexual dissatisfaction can be affected by the simplicity of sexual relations, without, so to speak, sexual fantasies, which have long become the norm for our depraved society. These fantasies, in fact, there is nothing wrong with them, it is a kind of highlight in sex that affects its quality. It must be present in the relationship between a man and a woman, so that they are interested in each other and so that they are attracted to each other. Therefore, if there is little sex in a man’s life or it is not of sufficient quality, he may well be pulled to the left. But this is a fixable matter, unless it is a problem for the woman herself.
5. Lack of emotional intimacy. Sex is sex, but we are still people, not animals, so in addition to animal instinctual needs, we also have human spiritual needs, including spiritual intimacy with a loved one. From work experience, I can say that there are not many men who feel dissatisfied with their relationship with a woman due to the lack of spiritual intimacy with her, and therefore cheat on her. But they exist, so a woman must take this male need into account. In general, a woman who loves her man usually does not have problems with spiritual intimacy with him. Nevertheless, more attention should be paid to this point. Rare men who value a woman’s spiritual qualities are valuable in their own way, but they also have unique needs. Don’t forget to satisfy them and then such a man will simply have no reason to cheat on you.
6. The desire to assert oneself. This is also a very common reason why men cheat. This desire arises mainly among men with complexes and lacking self-confidence. Having no idea of themselves, they want to fill the inner emptiness with insignificant external achievements, seeing this as their only opportunity to become more significant, primarily in their own eyes, as people. But there are also men who do this out of conviction and even with a certain degree of aggressiveness, since they are confident that self-affirmation through numerous sexual victories is a manifestation of a man’s strong qualities. A man’s self-doubt and his complexes can be dealt with; a woman can do this herself, with the help of the right attitude towards her man, or by turning to a specialist who will tell her what and how to do. But with the beliefs that a man holds about sexual victories, with the help of which he asserts himself, things are more complicated. Here it is already necessary to change a man’s worldview, instill in him new values, and show him life from the other side. Not every specialist can do this. However, if a man himself recognizes the need to change his behavior, for the sake of his woman, for the sake of his family, for the sake of happiness, he can be helped.
7. Dissatisfaction with your life. Some men may decide to cheat due to dissatisfaction with their lives. In this case, a woman may have nothing to do with the behavior of a man, who, according to a number of other criteria, may rate the quality of his life very low. Hence, he has a need to improve it with the help of new sensations, new acquaintances, new relationships, new adventures. This is not a common case, but it is quite interesting, primarily because such a man can treat his woman very well, but still cheat on her. For such a man to stop cheating on his woman, his wife and generally stop being dissatisfied with his life, he needs to rethink a lot. In this case, the woman should advise her man to change, for example, his job if he doesn’t like it, or his place of residence if it’s terrible, in order to improve his quality of life and at the same time his own life. Then the man will not need betrayal as a means of consolation. However, if the situation is difficult, if he explains a man’s dissatisfaction with his life by dissatisfaction with his relationship with his woman, thus shifting responsibility for his, primarily internal, problems onto her, then it is necessary to understand this issue more thoroughly. After all, the same midlife crisis can affect a man’s vision of his life in extremely gloomy tones, which will not correspond to reality, but will nevertheless have a very strong impact on his behavior. And if a man is not able to clearly formulate his thoughts, explaining his dissatisfaction with a relationship with a woman - he cannot explain what exactly he does not like, what does not suit him, what he lacks in this relationship - it is better to drag him to a psychologist, by any means. Otherwise, such dissatisfaction may begin to manifest itself not only in betrayal, but also in other wrong and thoughtless actions.
8. Revenge. If there were actions in a woman’s life that caused great offense to her man, if she herself was unfaithful to him, then the likelihood that he will cheat on her out of revenge is quite high. But this can be avoided, or you can make sure that a man’s betrayal does not happen again because of this reason, and for this you need to start treating him very well, showing him your love and respect, and showing that you value him very highly, like a man. It is important that a man feels like a man, and not a rag on which to wipe his feet. Show him that you cheated on him by mistake, and not because another man was better than him. In this way, you can dissolve the resentment that has lodged in him, and then the desire to change in order to take revenge will disappear. In general, dear women, try not to make mistakes that could negatively affect your life, and in particular, your relationship with your man. I understand that this sounds somewhat banal, but you know, when a person often thinks about this - about the consequences of his actions, he begins to take them into account. Therefore, I believe that every woman needs to think more often about what this or that action will lead to before committing it. You just need to accustom yourself to this. Then you will not do anything for which your man will want to take revenge on you, including through betrayal.
9. Boredom. Sometimes a man simply becomes bored and uninterested with his woman, as a result of which he begins to be drawn to adventures on the side. This is one of the most common reasons for male infidelity, but I nevertheless believe that it originates from upbringing. Yes, living with one woman who, for example, is not interested in what a man is interested in, and also takes care of children all day long without paying enough attention to him, can become boring over time. But I can say with complete confidence that any life becomes boring over time, and making it interesting at the expense of causing pain to another person, I think, is unacceptable for a serious, cultured, educated person. In my understanding, boredom is not a reason to cheat, it is a reason to cheat. And if a man uses this reason to improve his life, but at the same time making it worse for his woman, this speaks of his low moral and spiritual qualities. If a woman is ready to put up with this, she can close her eyes to it; if not, she should think about a more worthy life partner.
10. Weakness. A man’s weak character, because of which he follows everyone’s lead, may be the reason that another woman will seduce him and he will decide to cheat. And if his woman, his wife, constantly pushes him around, having complete power over him, then he will cheat on her without any regret. Such weak men, of course, are disgusting, but often women themselves make their men like this, driving them under their thumbs. Those women who want to dominate their men go against the laws of nature. They kill the man in their men. On the one hand, this allows a woman to gain power over her man and achieve obedience from him, but on the other hand, she gets either an extremely homely man, practically incapable of anything serious, or complete squalor, the power over which can be seized by any more or less active woman. Therefore, I believe, I am simply convinced of this, that for a normal relationship, a man should remain a man, and a woman a woman. I understand that life today dictates its own rules, when a woman needs to take on male responsibilities - to support herself, her children and even her family, solve problems, and do other things for which a man is more suitable. It is difficult for such women to give leadership in the family to a man, especially to a man who does not even remotely resemble a leader. But there is no need to suppress such men. You can try to help them become normal men, there are such opportunities, but you don’t need to make a rag out of them and then wipe your feet on it. Today you wipe your feet on this rag, tomorrow another woman will do it, who will take this toy from you not without her, or rather his, consent. A weak man is greedy for everything, and so that he does not cheat, he needs to instill a sense of self-esteem so that he respects both himself and his woman, and does not allow anyone to interfere in his personal life, much less ruin it. And a depressed, humiliated, bullied man has no self-esteem - it is killed in him. He does not control external factors, they control him. Such a man can cheat, become an alcoholic, and do a lot of stupid things. And in general, there is not much benefit from such male individuals. So, dear women, think carefully before suppressing a man in a man, with the expectation that he will become a toy for you, which you can twist and twirl as you wish. Such a man, let’s say, can not only cheat on you, but also cause a lot of other troubles.
These, in fact, are all the main reasons for male infidelity that I most often encountered in my practice. We will talk about other reasons, less significant and less common, another time. For now, I think, these reasons are more than enough for every woman to be able to draw the right conclusions for herself regarding how she should and should not behave with her man, so that he does not have the desire to cheat on her. Also, a woman should think very carefully, and even better, consult with knowledgeable people about which man is best for her to connect her destiny with, taking into account her desires and plans for life. For not every man is capable of being what a woman wants to see in him.
In conclusion, I would like to say a little about what I see as the main problem of male infidelity and why it needs to be solved so that both the man and the woman feel good together, so that they are happy with each other. Everything, I believe, depends on people’s attitude towards life and what they want to get from it.
If a person professes family values, then this is one thing, but if a person professes free love and a lifestyle free from any obligations, then this is another. Each person has his own desires and goals in life. And, I believe, everyone needs to act based on these very desires and goals, without deceiving themselves and other people. If a man cannot or does not want to live a family life, which implies taking on certain responsibilities and obligations, then he does not need to get married, have children, and then run to the left, thus creating certain problems for his family. After all, not every woman can put up with this. There is no need to ruin other people's lives, because you can live the way you want with those who share your views on life. And a woman should also understand that there is no need to get along with a man who is not only incapable of being faithful to his loved one, his beloved woman, but also to live a family life in general. Well, some men are not suitable for this, whatever one may say.
And in general, we all need to remember that we are driven not only by our instincts, but also by our minds. Therefore, we need to learn to pacify our selfishness and not follow the lead of some of our desires, so as not to cause pain to other people, especially the people we love and care about, who trust us. So, if a man can cheat, this does not mean that he needs to do it. If he has a good, loving, respectful woman next to him, then by cheating on her, I think he is cheating on himself. He betrays not only her, but also himself and his happiness!
